The Redneck Nextdoor

What Next?

redneckneighbor — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:08:04 +0000

Well things have changed a bit since last posting. I don’t know if I can still be known as Redneck”neighbor” any longer. I’ve moved my family out onto a “mini-farm.” We’re only about 30 mins from where we used to live but its light years in the way of life. So I may need to change my name to “Just Another Redneck.”

To save my soul I may vote for Obama.

redneckneighbor — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:26:44 +0000

Hey have you heard about John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin? Have you seen her?

If you ask me I think she’s pretty dang hot!!! Now I’m a gun loving, gun toting, red blooded republican. However I have a difficult time maintaining my pure virginal thoughts when I see Palin. Now I can resist a woman that’s in a position of power. I can resist a woman in a business suit. I can resist a woman with her hair pinned up. I can even sometimes resist a woman with glasses. But when you put them all together…..now that’s just not fair. So I may have to give up my political beliefs so that I may be able to save my soul.

Mellowing out with grass.

redneckneighbor — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:09:07 +0000

No not that kinda grass either….I’m always impressed how the simplest things in life are always the most calming & relaxing. People spend so much money on books, movies, coaches, vacations, etc all in the name of relaxation. Yet I find myself sitting on my front porch watching fresh cut grass blowing in a warm breeze and I don’t feel the pressures of life or have a care in the world…..granted that “no feeling” feeling is short lived but oh so important.

Lost In The Chaos…

redneckneighbor — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:49:24 +0000

Have you ever felt that detached feeling. That feeling that you’re observing a room but you’re not really there. Worse still is that wave of chaos washing over you when your brain can’t seem to keep up with your surroundings. Well that is my typical lunch date when I visit my kids at school during this second most important time of the day. The first of course being recess.

I’m always humbled and a bit awe struck every time I join them. I always feel so overwhelmed by the motions of little feet & hands, heads spinning, food being inhaled, the noise….the CHAOS!!!! Sorry, flashback. Honestly, I get this extremely lonely and detached feeling.

For some reason two things struck me today. The first being the chaos that’s ALWAYS present in the lunchroom. Not so much the chaos but the affects that it has on my children. I know how I feel in that environment so I wonder what it does to their emotional state. Obviously their whole day is not like the maddening 30 minutes they experience in the cafeteria, but I wonder what the difference would be if they ate their little lunches in a quieter & more soothing atmosphere?

The second thing was how much food was being consumed & wasted. Now I’ve never been to a third-world nation & personally witnessed hunger or ever felt hunger but I couldn’t help but contrast what I imagined lunchtime at an orphanage somewhere in Africa & what I was witnessing. How do you teach/tell your kids about how blessed they are?

Now just what do you think they were discussing?

redneckneighbor — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:36:49 +0000

This is a real quote from an overheard conversation between a woman and her boyfriend….”Now how would you feel if your nuts were the size of my boobs?!?!”

I only wish that I knew what started this obviously deep and philosophical coversation and what his response was. Unfortunately I was not privy to either.

Any guesses?

and I thought my leatherman was the greatest tool invented…

redneckneighbor — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:26:53 +0000

I’m Still Here

redneckneighbor — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:48:52 +0000

I’m sorry for the hiatus….I wish I could say that I was doing some life changing soul searching . Growing personally and spiritually. Growing as a father, husband, and a man….but really I just didn’t feel like talking….to anyone….and that was kinda a problem. I wasn’t having any fun and I certainly wasn’t too fun to be around. I’ll talk more later about some of the things that were going, but it all involved nursing students, a hot young blonde stranger, a cuban assassin, and of course poo. So bear with me and I’ll fill you in on the stories that are my life.

Ambushed

redneckneighbor — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:32:35 +0000

Evil lurks everywhere and strikes where and when you are most vunerable.

God’s Army

redneckneighbor — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:21:05 +0000

Why does it seem that we as humans are more satisfied when we’re unhappy or failing? Or worst why are people more satisfied when OTHER people are unhappy and miserable? If you are one of the happy and satisfied people walking this earth then what do you do to stay there? I know there is no magic trick or secret breathing technique (or is there?!?!?) but what helps you to stay positive or satisfied? I feel like I’m constantly under attack and being bombarded by negative and evil. Is this because I recently came to truly know Christ? Am I now caught up in the cosmic battle between good and evil? Honestly I like to think of it that way because it sounds so dang manly!!!! I’m a soldier for Christ. I’m fighting in the trenches. I end up bloodied and beat down at times but other times I feel like God has blessed me with the strength and abilities to slay the evil that assaults me. But when I’m at my low moments what suggestions do you have to help me climb back up and get back in the fight? Is it a matter of just doing it over and over and getting stronger from the fight?

Keeping Mum About Poo

redneckneighbor — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 13:35:53 +0000

I’ve been overwhelmed with emails asking for an update on my poor buddy that was suddenly and violently attacked by the return of Stinky Pete. Ok not really but I’m going to give you an update anyway.

My buddy was instructed to NOT go and speak with the poor next door neighbor. He has been back out there for work but for some reason it’s a lot more desolate than before. So he’s still employed and very few of us know what happened out there in the boondocks of West Tennessee. We do however make sure and remind him of the experience every chance we get. He’s received a “no dumping” sign that was placed on his windshield at one point. Another time a roll of TP was left on the antenna of his truck and of course a litany of phone pictures of candy bars, tootsie rolls or anything else that could resemble poo with the obligatory ““Name Withheld” was here” written somewhere in the picture. He’s not alone though in the ribbing. The manager that did the dirty work has received a pack of pooper scooper bags to keep on his truck…..yes, we are juvenile and proud of it. If you have any good torture ideas please feel free to prolong this poor guys indignity and pass them along.